Saturday, February 26, 2011

Different story Rough chapter one

Meaning this story has not been proofread at all and you will find tons of mistakes.

Chapter one:

Her mother has been weeping quietly to herself for 5 suns and 6 sun downs. Aevan knew why her mother has been worried. Aevan’s mother always has followed the traditions and the Ways it has been done. Aevan doesn’t understand how nor why Ways have such strict rules placed upon the People. As far as she knows, something happened out of order that is not of the Ways brings the meaning of bad omen to the People. Aevan usually paid no heeds to the Ways. It is raining and she must hurry under the shelter or she will bring more scolding onto herself from her mother. Thinking quickly, she decided to take cover inside the barn within her sight without realizing where she is. Entering thru the barn’s gate, she heard soft, musical sigh. “What must goes down, things goes up.” Aevan repeated, “Huh? What does that mean?” But it has faded already. Instead of feeling fears, doubts or even urge to leave, she felt thrills warming her heart. Instead of pondering of what just happened, she moved forward further inside. It was dark inside but with the light weakly streaming through the cracks, Aevan is able to navigate her way around. Walking slowly, she tried to take in everything that her eyes could see. There is much stuff in here that Aevan has never seen before. Something nudged her toward the leathered felt box that is half big as she. Touching it, her fingers has told her this used to be very soft and smooth but now stiffened with time. Running her fingers downward from the top, she fibbled with the latches. She knelt down as latches unlocked. She pushed it open and coughed as she breathed in the musty smell. On the very top were parchments tied on small box, she push that to the side and saw beautiful deep red with glimmers of brown. She didn’t take it out, just touching it. As she slid her hands around the material, the scrambled words became alive inside her mind.

Though, I do believe in you. I have changed my world for you, everything I have done, and I have done it for you. I only could run so far. Love without the heartbeat, sunlight without the light are my feelings toward you. I cannot live on like this anymore.

Brushing aside the tears from her cheeks, Aevan wondered at such agony. Surely being in love is not this painful? She asked herself. Wanting to know more of this dress’ story, she reached back inside and moved her hands underneath the red dress and pulled up fluffy golden/cream dress. “This dress must be for fancy dancing.” Aevan decided. As her eyes took in the details so finely woven upon the dressed, the images of sorts flashed through her mind.

Looking and searching for someone. Here he is, and then he disappears. Suddenly there he is, not moving away from me. My heart fluttered like butterfly fluttering too fast. I took deep breath and suddenly our body joined together in dance across the floor in midst of those cruel people. I have forgotten everything else but the man in my arms. As we twirled around, I have found myself falling in love.

“Wow!” Aevan sighed, “I want to know more.” Just before she put the dressed down, the winds outside howled. She dropped the dress, and ran to the wall looking through the cracks. The winds have brought snow but the ground has not yet been covered with white. “Oh no, I must go now!” Aevan ran but quickly came back to closed the wooden box then ran out of the barn. What Aevan has not counted on is the lights are quickly dimming, making it hard for her to move through the forest. To make things worse, she is still wet from the rain. How can this be? This is summer, how can this get cold so fast? She wondered. With her lips turning blue, hair becoming stiff, she is having harder time to run smoothly toward her home. Finally with her home in sight, she moved quicker toward to warmth. She went inside with relief in her heart and eagerness for warmth. Those feelings did not last long because there is no light lit. She looked around and in darkness she could tell of the emptiness chilling her even more. “Ma? Pa? Hello?” Aevan said into the room, and then shouted into the wind. Nothing. There are no fires, no blankets, nor any food. Her belongings are still here, she quickly pulled out her dry clothes to replace the wet ones. “I want to weep, but I’m too cold.” Aevan said out loud. Wondering where her parents have gone and how to get warm, she looked through her home to find any clues. She has discovered that there are no food, dishes, nothing but table and chairs and the bed. Deciding that she can’t stay, she went to gather her stuff and tied it up in her wet dress. Taking a deep breath, she gathered the strength inside her to go out into snowy night to travel to her neighbor and perhaps she will find answers to questions she has. She ran across the field, through the forest, and hopping over the small manmade creek that brings water to the village, she finally arrived to her destination. She knocked on the door in hopes someone will wake up. The door shifted inward. She stepped inside after quick debate of whether she should go in or wait. Shivering, she felt dismay growing in her stomach. Upon realizations that the village has been abandon, she cried. She’s very cold now, her body aches with pain of coldness. Feeling around the fireplaces, she discovered only dusts, no woods to use for warmth. After seeing that all of her clothes are wet, she remembered the dresses in the barn that are still dry. She quickly decided that where she can become warm. She left and pushed herself hard through the cold wind and snowing night. Finally she arrived, the doors slammed hard but she turned around and pushed them to close and moved the wood bar to seal them closed. She stripped herself as she moved toward the box. Shivering, she reached in and to her relief, she found that there are underclothing so she began to placed them on. Feeling a little better, she rubbed her foot on her leg as she tries to decide what dress to put on. Red one is beautiful to behold but she does not want to feel pangs of anguish due to faint memories told by this dress. The white/cream dress is too flimsy to wear against cold air. Aevan sighed, she wants to get warm but there are just too many dresses and they all may have their own stories. Suddenly she found thick soft brown dress with golden trimmings. It felt so warm to her hands. Without any further thoughts, Aevan quickly placed the dress on. She twirled around, feeling beautiful. She felt her heart flipping and wondered if she was soaring in the sky. She closed the box and laid out her clothes to dry. With the blanket she found beside the box, she shook it and dusted it off, she placed it over the hay and wrapped herself into that blanket on the hay. She fell asleep. Blanket has kept her warm while she slept.


Holly and Dan said...

Sounds interesting. I love all your details and descriptions. Cute name, too!!

Anonymous said...

Cool story. I want to read more. Your writing is getting really good.